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Should you spend time with your ex and your child together?

Most divorced parents have heard the question from their children on multiple occasions: "How come you guys don't spend time together?" or, "Why can't the three of us do something fun with one another?"

This may be a difficult question for you to answer, but, like all single parents, you may have found a diplomatic answer to give your child. Maybe, you've even considered your child's request as an interesting idea.

What's your answer to spending time with your ex after divorce?

For many parents, the answer to the question of spending time with their exes is a resounding, "No!" For others who have an easygoing and friendly relationship with their exes, it could be a resounding, "Yes!" In the end, it all depends on the nature of your and your ex's post-divorce relationship and how well you're able to get along with him or her -- and, more importantly, whether you want to try to get along with him or her.

The best co-parents put the needs and interests of their children first, but, realistically, there does have to be some limit to this. Perhaps you can grin and bear it, and spend time with your ex, but maybe doing so causes you a great deal of pain. If this is the case, by all means, you do not need to sacrifice yourself in this fashion.

How to spend time with your ex if your answer is yes

If you are going to spend time with your ex and your child at the same time, there are some great ways to do it. For example, you can go to your child's group birthday parties and sporting events with your ex -- maybe even driving together to the party or the game. You can also engage in old family traditions during holidays as a group, such as opening presents at Christmas time.

Find your own way and do what you want to do

It's always best to find your own way of navigating the issue of whether you should spend time with your ex after divorce. Whatever you do, as long as you understand your obligations as a parent to your child under your divorce agreement -- and as long as you fulfill these obligations -- you and your child will be fine.

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