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2 questions that will help you divorce diplomatically

When you're ready to get a divorce, you may want to carefully consider your game plan for the process. Do you want to divorce peacefully, with dignity and respect for the benefit of yourself and your children, or do you want to risk the pain and heartache involved with a contentious break-up?

Lawyers, family counselors and psychologists would tell you to choose the latter option. In fact, divorcing in a peaceful and conciliatory way could be helpful to your pocketbook just as much as it helps your psychology. In order to help you along the path toward a stress-reduced break-up, here are two questions to ask yourself:

1. How well can you and your ex work with one another?

Some people are adversarial by nature, and others are cooperative. Which type are you? Which type is your ex? Can you redirect adversarial energy toward cooperation and conflict resolution? If you can, it will make your divorce less painful and easier to deal with.

2. Do either of you tend to become mean or selfish?

No one plans on becoming mean or selfish, and most people who do so don't realize that they've fallen into the pattern. Be careful with your actions and emotions. While you can't control your ex, you can reduce the chances of him or her becoming mean or selfish by not becoming a part of the problem yourself. If your spouse reacts in an ugly way, take a step back, count to ten or do whatever you need to stay calm and not make the issue worse.

The benefits of a peaceful, reduced-conflict divorce cannot be overestimated. If you want to minimize the potentially damaging effects of your break-up on your family, take the proactive steps required to divorce diplomatically.

Source: Psychology Today, "How Good Divorce Lawyers Have Improved Divorce," Wendy Paris, accessed May 01, 2018

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